Amercia

Where is spell check when you need it? Apparently, Mitt Romney wants to be president of Amercia. Oops. Stephen talked about this and then sang our new nation's praises. Don't get up. Remain seated. You may remember Mitt Romney likes to sing the song, "America the Beautiful." Well, same tune, different words, really different words. You have to go over to Colbert Nation and listen to Stephen sing the anthem.

Stephen closed that segment by getting his audience to cheer with him for Romney 2102:
SUA   SUA   SUA   SUA

Alan Alda. Where to start? He is to be admired. He still has that boyish charm of Hawkeye from M.A.S.H. He still has that twinkle in his eye. He told us that he tends to be an independent thinker, so in that regard, he probably is quite a bit like Stephen. I wish the interview could have been longer because I think Stephen could learn a lot from Alan Alda, mainly a little bit of comedic chatter. Stephen is a newsman, and a good one at that. However, he could be better if he would lighten up a bit and throw in a joke now and then.

Let me explain. Sometimes interviews tend to be so exciting that both people talk at the same time. That happened with Alan Alda and Stephen. So as not to seem to be criticizing Stephen, Alan Alda just quickly said, "Don't let me interrupt." Ha ha ha. That is funny. I will have to remember that. So much more effective than pouting or yelling at the interviewer.

Enough humor though. Science. Specifically, World Science Festival. I wish I was in New York City. I would so go to this. It's going on right now, even as we speak. Well, maybe not in the wee hours of the night, but still, it would be worth going. Levar Burton, yet another one of my heroes, spoke on May 30. Conductor Brad Lubman and the Orchestra of St. Luke's performed. And what about a Universal Vaccine? Is that possible? So, cool stuff going on there.

What is a flame? That is what Alan Alda wants to know. And he wants scientists to explain it. And he wants them to explain it to 11-year-old kids. Thirty countries plus USA (SUA?) had entries and they were judged by actual 11-year-olds. Not to be outdone by 11-year-olds judgment of the answers, Stephen explained in great detail what a flame is.

Now I understand completely.

One Hot Woman To Another

Stephen is back and had tons of news to report on. The most important news was about awards. Stephen won his second Peabody Award and is hoping for his third. That wasn't the only award he won recently. In what can be called earth shattering, Stephen Colbert is #69 on the list of the Top 100 Hottest Women in the World! That's correct, it is not a typo. Stephen Colbert is the first man ever to make Maxim's Hottest Women in the World!!! That means only 68 women in the entire world are hotter than he is. Stephen hopes in the future to win best dog and best car. Time will tell.

In political news, George Will was on "This Week" recently and showed that there is a solid connection between the amount of money a person has and the IQ of that person. Donald Trump honored George Will with a comment on Twitter.

Stephen talked briefly about world news, focusing on the Egyptian Revolution. Showing his grasp of world affairs and history, he was able to tie together Arizona politics and ancient Egyptian politics. I did not see that one coming.

The guest last night was fellow hot woman Charlize Theron. I guess the part she plays in that new fairy tale movie "Snow White and the Huntsman" is not quite so cute as I had thought. She is more of a wicked queen than a benevolent queen. We got to see a short clip from the movie and it does seem like you do not want to make her angry. In the last minute of the show, Stephen and Charlize discussed another new film, "Prometheus" in detail.

It sure is nice having Stephen back I can hardly wait to hear what award he wins next week.

Wrapping Up

Stephen is back tonight and I will again be posting on my regular schedule.

Here's a real quick wrap-up of what has happened in the past few weeks.

Obama spiked the football. (Think Mission Accomplished and Bin Laden.) Paul Ryan talks about the poor or as Stephen said, "Tough love thy neighbor as thyself. Get your own loaves and fishes." U.S. Catholic Bishops said poppycock* about Paul Ryan's budget. (* Actual word was more descriptive than poppycock.) We got to see the Richard Branson ice cube. Kermit the Frog is in hot water in Germany. Jack White was on the show, and while he was not interviewed, Stephen and Jack did talk extensively before the musical portion of the show.

There you have it. You can get more details about past shows over at Colbert Nation.

Tonight Stephen is going to have Charlize Theron on the show. She plays a queen in an upcoming movie based on a fairy tale, so that should be cute. We'll find out more tonight.

I Am A Pole

(And So Can You!)

While I was away from the modern conveniences of everyday living, Stephen talked about his wonderful book, I Am A Pole (And So Can You!) I haven't even had time to buy it yet, much less read it, but you can find out about it here at Colbert Nation.

He interviewed Julie Andrews, a famous author and singer and actor, and got advice from her. In return, he gave her some wardrobe tips. She said she wouldn't sing with him, but eventually his charm won her over and they sang Mr. In-Between.

We got to see Canada's really cool glow-in-the-dark quarter and Stephen shared other great money ideas.

Magnus Carlsen, a guy who likes to play chess, was on the show and instantly, much to Stephen's horror, became the new Grand Master of Rock-Paper-Scissors.

Happy Birthday

I would be remiss if I let this day go by without singing Happy Birthday to Stephen Colbert. Please join with me in singing.

Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday dear Stephen.
Happy Birthday to you.

I would be equally remiss if I did not wish all mothers a Happy Mother's Day. Way to go all you moms out there!

On an unrelated matter, I'm back. On a related matter to that, it appears that Stephen is now going on vacation. At least, it looks like repeats for this week, so I assume there is a good reason for showing repeats. But, that will give me a good chance to get out the old TiVo machine, look at all the shows I missed, and give my thoughts on what went on in the world while I was writing my memoirs.