I'm On Notice

Last night was the last night for Stephen to be in Vancouver covering the Quadrennial Cold Weather Athletic Competition. He interviewed Shani Davis and they seem to now be on friendly terms again. Stephen took Canada off the "On Notice Board". But then he put me up there. Well, actually, he put "You Know Who You Are" but I know that means me. I don't know what I did to upset him. And actually, he doesn't even know me! There is a chance, just a slight chance, that he means someone else. I'll hope that is the case. Because once you get on the "On Notice Board" you don't get off until another person comes along and does something even worse to get Stephen even more upset.

Quadrennial Cold Weather Athletic Competition

So, Stephen Colbert's brother, Edward T. Colbert was on briefly tonight. He is a copyright attorney and partner for the Washington D.C. firm of Kenyon & Kenyon, LLP. Ed advised Stephen not to be using copyright names such as Vancouver Olympics, thus Quadrennial Cold Weather Athletic Competition. Highlights of tonight's show include a Goodyear Aerial Cam and a homemade sign in the audience that said, "Marry Me Stephen It's Legal Here."

Also he mentioned the English to English Dictionary that he used when talking with Canadians. He mentioned, among other things, that what we call Canadian Geese, they call Canada Geese. Oh, Stephen, everyone knows that the geese are not citizens and they can not vote. So they are not Canadian, they are just plain old Canada Geese.

Mr. Colbert had as his guest Shaun White, Gold Medalist Snowboarder. And on a note of being completely honest, I will admit that Stephen Colbert did not wear those famous Team Norway Pants as I had predicted/hoped for in my previous post. He was dressed conservatively (duh - of course) in white slacks and a navy cardigan with red collar.

I look forward to Tuesday night's show for more Vancouverage of this Quadrennial Cold Weather Athletic Competition.

Vancouver Olympics

Stephen will be back on the air tonight with a new show. What will he talk about? Well, so much has been happening at the Olympics up in Vancouver. He could talk about the city, the weather, the food, the people. But chances are he will mostly talk about himself. And why not? Isn't that what most people are interested in?

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that he will at least mention the Team Norway Pants. I'm thinking he might even own a pair just like it by now. He is a fashion icon, so that's just logical thinking that he would do that. If you watched any of the Curling when Norway was playing, you will know what I'm talking about.

So, watch tonight and then come back when I either claim to be psychic or else make up some excuse why Stephen didn't even mention the Team Norway Pants.

We're Off to See the Blizzard

I just love all the catchy phrases Stephen comes up with. Darn, I forgot my good grammar. Never use a preposition to end a sentence with. Oh, well. Tonight Stephen talked about Global Warming. We've all had lots of snow and some states have been having tons, literally, of snow. Blizzards even. And so the usual suspects have been wondering "What does Al Gore say about Global Warming now?!?!"

Al Gore did not need to speak to these doubters. Stephen handled it in his own unique way, using the Dopplest 9000, which is way better than anybody's Doppler Radar.

Many other people (Jon Stewart, Rachel Maddow, Keith Olberman, Aasif Mandvi) also went over Global Warming again, in short sentences, using tiny words to make it easy for all to understand. Global Warming is just one symptom of Climate Change. Global means the whole Earth. The entire planet. That area bigger than what you see when you look out your kitchen window. Climate means the weather over a very long period of time. It doesn't mean this week or even this year. It has to do with science.

NASA has determined (using science and lots and lots of data) that 2009 was the second warmest year on record and it was the end of the warmest decade.

Stephen said about the most recent blizzard, "Whatever just happened is the only thing that is happening." And of course by that he actually means that there are a multitude of things happening all over the place. I can't remember if it was Stephen or someone else who said this: "Sometimes I don't get my words right, but I know what is in my heart is right." Probably someone else, but the sentiment is appropriate to Stephen. And so it stings just a little bit to report what one of his guests said. In his "Better Know a District" segment, Stephen talked with Mike Quigley, Congressman from the 5th District of Illinois. Representative Quigley summed up their interview by telling Stephen, "You have a point. It's not a good point, but you have a point."

The Dopplest 9000 will be a welcome addition to The Colbert Report. Weather Channel, you had better upgrade your equipment. Soon, in addition to getting all my news from the Colbert Report, I will also get my weather forecasts and reports from Stephen.

* Photo not of actual Dopplest 9000.

It's Satire

Stephen talked about the Tea Party Nation Convention and Sarah Palin on last night's show. He clarified for all of us that the original Boston Tea Party also turned a profit. Sarah Palin could possibly run for president in 2012 and Stephen showed one possible bumper sticker that speaks to the "Hope-y Change-y" stuff that Obama campaigned on in 2008.

Sara Palin 2012
Abandon All Hope
that anything will ever change

Many people have been poking fun at Sarah Palin (or noting her hypocrisy) for using what Stephen calls a Hand-o-prompter. But hey, we all have done that at some time in our life. The only thing to really fault her on is her comment about a charismatic guy with a teleprompter. Is not Stephen Colbert a charismatic guy with a teleprompter? Whoa, treading on thin ice there Sarah.

But the most enlightening comments in that segment were about satire. He explained the intricacies of satire and also provided examples, using Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh and Rahm Emanuel. It all may have been confusing before, but after Stephen explained it, to the delight of his audience, it makes perfect sense.

It's satire.